(Note, this article was in the Smithville Herald newspaper in 2010 and on their website. When they upgraded their website, most of the archives didn't move over).
I watch closely as his backpack disappears into the bus. Tears gush down my cheeks in an emotional tidal wave I didn’t see coming, ahhhh! We made it. Finally. Both kids are in school and we can go back to a two-income family without feeling guilty.
We were married 10 years before we had children. Our lives before were carefree and careless. So incredibly simple. Keith knew what children would be like, but I wasn’t listening. I just wanted those babies!
When our first son was born, Keith stayed home. I was envious. Being a stay at home mom would fulfill a lifelong dream for me. But the circumstances were what they were and it just made sense for me to be the one working. My dreams included snuggling in the mornings, trips to the park, spotless house and grateful children, since their parents had given up so much so one of us could be home with them. Yeah right.
Welcome child #2 and my dream came true. Keith’s job would start shortly after the delivery.
Giving up one half of our income would be fine if it was just us. But this was a whole new world. The money was just the beginning of the “having kids” issues. Sleep, cleanliness, sanity, private time, food everyone will eat, children fighting, clothes fitting, bath time, clothes staying clean, house getting cluttered, toys everywhere, make sure all the relatives see the kids, what is the right thing to do for Christmas, how much do we spend, do I still need to clean the windows, is it ok to have me time, tooth fairy, Easter bunny, can we get to church every week, how do we handle it all? Need I say any more?
Having kids hit us hard, smack dab in the middle of our calm lives. Our precious kiddos took our lives and turned them inside out, upside down and shook them just to make sure they (our lives) were all messed up and confused. We were constantly second guessing ourselves, wondering is this best for them or best for us? At what point to we even dare to look at what’s best for us?
So here we are, on the other side of the first phase of raising kids. We made it past the “stay at home” portion of this journey. As we look back, was it worth it? Giving up one income, seemingly scrimping by, giving our children our full attention by giving up many things we enjoyed as dinks (double income no kids). Let’s take inventory:
We’re all alive (check)
We’re all (for the most part) healthy, although Keith and I have some new ailments, but we’re not sure if it’s age or just the simple fact that we never stop moving and doing! (check)
The kids seem fairly intelligent, however, our intelligence seems to have diminished, just ask our kids. (check)
Our savings isn’t completely gone. (check)
Our house is still intact; however, it now desperately needs a paint job, new furniture, bigger closets (I could go on and on here). (check)
We’re still married (check)
We still believe in God (check)
It’s harder than I ever imagined. Now that we’re through with this phase, life should get a little easier, right? I guess more accurately put, it will change. New challenges await us in this journey.
Yes, it was worth it. The love my children have for us fills up my heart and pushes me to be the best person I can be. I’ve learned that anything that takes energy, sweat, tears and emotional courage will give you back in the same measure enjoyment, laughter, security and contentment. Nothing will compare to my five year old son saying, “When I grow up, I’m going to take care of you.” Or “I love you more than anything in this world.”
It is hard work and at times you feel like you can’t make it another day. But we have to; our children’s lives are at stake. Soon it will be his license plate disappearing into the sunset and I’m sure tears will fall then too. Or will I be jumping up and down for joy? Probably both.
